Soul Mates

The blogger has a new way of putting pictures up - they're not necessarily in a specific order, but here goes:

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These past few months were a bit challenging, yet extremely powerful for me as I felt God's presence and Spirt draw ever more closely to us as a family. In May, we were told that Ellie's pacemaker lead was broken, and she was going to need surgery to replace it - full open chest surgery as she had when she was born. This was devastating news, and scary in that Ellie is now four and fully aware of things that happen to her...I could not walk this road without the Lord. I prayed heavily (and asked many to join me) that the Holy Spirit be so Present in Ellie's life before, throughout, and after the surgery that Ellie feel no fear. Ellie and I were able to have many good conversations about the upcoming surgery, and soon after I started praying this prayer, Ellie began talking to an imaginary friend named Ella. This girl Ella has been the one Ellie tells all her thoughts to - and I truly believe God sent this "friend" to Ellie as a tangible part of His Spirit - as a way for her to process her thoughts, and feel CALM - to feel His Peace!

Ellie's surgery went very successfully, Praise God! The surgery took place on a Friday night, and though the weekend was pretty excruciating, and Ellie was definitely a very sad girl and pretty not recognizable in spirit, she was COMPLETELY healed by Monday - and we went home Monday night - with NO pain killers - not even tylenol! She's been going and moving and loving life fully since she's been home. This has been so incredibly miraculous - this is not at all the way I anticipated our summer would be. I've been able to enroll her in sweet music school camps and STEM centered camps that give her healthy learning environments to be a part of - without the fear of crazy movement. She's so happy, and I stand amazed at God's work here! Every day Ellie lifts her shirt up to show me her incision (which is quite long - and she happily exclaims: "God is healing me!"

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Here are the special memories I've recorded from these past three months (and some from July)

One day Ellie had a rough day at preschool. In the morning, she says to me "I waited for the clock to say 6 0 0 (this is our rule before she's allowed to come out of her room) because I am going to make better choices today."

She heard "Awesome God" and said to me: "Mom, I haven't sung Awesome God in awhile - I sang it at my last preschool." (I can't believe she remembered this!

I had hurt my back once again, and the next morning, Ellie asks me: "Mom, how's your back today? Can I rub it?" During prayer time she said "God I pray for mom's back to feel better."

Prior to Ellie's heart surgery (that was on June 10), Ellie decided to pray for dinner at the dinner table. She had a very lengthy prayer (not very common) and she said "Thank you God for Stanford - that I may be blessed."

We went to Gilroy Garden's Water Oasis area and while getting all wet, she said: "Mom I'm taking an April shower."

While at Stanford, a nurse came in to help Ellie sit up and get off the bed for the first time since her surgery. Once on my lap, she starts screaming out: "Mom, I'm going to have an accident! Mom I'm having an accident! Mom I'm having an accident all over you Mommy!" I can't begin to express how hysterical this was, even as I sat drenched...

The most special moment at Stanford came 3 days after her surgery - on the Monday. She was so so sad and expressionless (except for deeply sad faces) the entire time at Stanford - then the chest tube was pulled, and within an hour or two she sits up, gets off her bed and says "I'm going to go to the playroom and brush my teeth!" Happiest moment at Stanford.

While the summer has progressed, she has been so good at letting me sleep in - very impressive for my daughter who gets up so ridiculously early! She rubs my back, goes out and draws me pictures, kisses me all over, and sometimes even falls back asleep with me!

One evening, Jeremiah tucks her into bed while I'm at the store shopping. I come home 30 minutes after she was tucked in, and as I walk up the stairs, she opens the door with the biggest smile on her face saying "Mom, I just wanted to say goodnight to you" - and embraced me and kissed me all over.

As she plays with her dolls, I realize that they're always going to the doctor and having surgery to get pacemakers put inside of them...

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These pictures are completely BACKWARDS...

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Below are pictures taken from a coloring book by Crayola called Come Alive - oh my goodness - I've never seen anything like it! So, Ellie colors the figure. I then download an app that goes along with this coloring book. I take a picture of the figure she's colored, and before our eyes (on the app) the figure comes to life - colored EXACTLY the way Ellie colored her... Ellie can then "play" with this figure on the app, and take pictures with her going around the house...see the process below...

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Below are pictures that we took at Santa Cruz beach. Ellie was only a couple weeks out of her surgery, and I was so proud of her for keeping her top self sand free, and not allowing her body to get wet at all. She still had such a wonderful time - it was a great day!

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Ellie got a Bitty Baby from her Uncle Frankie and Aunt Oshea (An American Doll baby) - and has treasured this doll since day one...

Here she is sporting one of her new dresses :)

Here's a "sad" tale.. kinda funny though - After Ellie received her hair cut, she went home, took her scissors, and cut Nora Noel's hair - her American Doll big girl doll...

Below is Ellie's haircut :)

Below: We went to the San Francisco with my mom and dad to celebrate Father's Day this year - Father's are free - pretty sweet deal!

While my parents were in town, we also discovered a new area called Shoreline Park - complete with water adventures, and a cute playground that was safe for Ellie to play on - NO SLIDES!

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Below, Ellie receives Bitty Baby and her baby carrier. My Aunt Maxine also sent her some outfits for Nora Noel - and one of the outfits came with a matched set for Ellie!!!

Uncle Marc and Aunt Aadra gave Ellie the best stencil creating set ever - it's a Melissa and Doug product - and made super well - an instant favorite activity for her...

The pictures below are Ellie's journey at Stanford - going backwards - which is kinda nice - because the beginning was so sad and painful...

This was in the playroom with her doll, Bia, that a friend of mine brought to the hospital for Ellie - right before we left...

This is my most precious and prized Stanford picture - "Mommy - LOOK, I'm walking without crying!" (word for word)

Thank goodness for the iPad to keep her occupied during all the medical stuff they had to do to her...

My baby actually smiled Sunday night! Her first smile was actually at the moment that her preschool teacher from last year, Ms. Jaurein, was leaving the hospital after visiting her - this lady is super precious to Ellie - Ellie was walking down the hall screaming a very high pitched scream...she sees Ms. Jaurein, stops completely, and falls completely into her arms - I completely lost it... Ms. Claudia, her other teacher, also came along, and we all walked around the 3rd floor of Stanford around and around and around - Ellie was sad the entire time... and then a miracle happened when we put her back into her bed - for a moment my Ellie came back to us - she calls out with a huge smile "Bye Ms. Jaurein!!" (I lost it again). And then the hospital Ellie came back...

While this picture is definitely super sad - it is important for me to always remember this - because it shows just what a miracle God did in bringing her completely back to us so soon afterwards...

This was the moment Ellie spotted Ms. Jaurein - I'll never forget it for as long as I live.

That is her chest tube hanging out of her body - it's super painful - yet extremely important - it keeps the fluids from building up inside..

Around and around the hospital we went...

This was shortly after the "accident" - it is the first time I got to hold my baby doll since before the surgery - it was about noon on Saturday. I had sat by her bedside in the CVICU with my mother all night long (and a tall tall glass of iced coffee)

The dolly above her head was a gift from Stanford. They made my baby girl wait many more hours than they had originally said for her surgery. Ellie was very hungry - so to distract her, Stanford gave her some free money for the gift shop - so Ellie had a sweet doll to keep her company.

Words can not explain the emotion that goes along with these pictures...

This one below is of Ellie when she was born... It was so so hard to go through all of this again...

One of the worship leaders at my church, Corinna, gave me this cross before Ellie's surgery. Someone had actually given it to Corinna before a surgical procedure she went through - it is crafted so your hand can just hold it perfectly in its palm... so I had Ellie hold it all the while in the holding room before surgery... and there it was with her when she came out on the other side...

The following are pictures in the holding room right before they took my baby girl in for her surgery. I held onto these smiles during the entire time of waiting....

They put Frozen on the TV.... we wound up seeing this movie A LOT in the hospital - Ellie had never seen it before... (nor probably ever will again!!)

This was taken while we were waiting those excruciating hours before being able to even go into the holding room... I just tried so hard to keep things happy and calm for my baby girl...

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The pictures below were taken at the KLove Fan Awards in Nashville, TN. Jeremiah and I went one week before Ellie's surgery - God knew I would need all that worship time!! It was a pretty special weekend. We hung out with a sweet girl who came by herself to the event - so she's below too. We stayed at the Gaylord Opryland Resort - it was the prettiest hotel I've ever been to.

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Ellie got new bed sheets :)

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Gilroy Gardens!

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We traveled down to the Fresno Zoo to see our dear Porterville friends... I'm so glad we keep in touch!

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Ramona's 2nd birthday!

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These two pics below were from this adorable tea house we went to to celebrate my co-worker's moving on from TKA - she's pregnant with her third baby - and she and Matt bought a home outside the area... kinda a happy/sad celebration

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Here's Ellie's look-a-like doll, Nora Noel, in Ellie's very first outfit that I ever got her....

My baby girl had her very first dance recital :)

My mom and dad attended the recital and loved it :) We were at the KLOVE fan awards...

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Here's some random ones- Ramona and Ellie inside the tech booth at TKA during the Band concert... they held on pretty well :)

Ellie STILL fits in this 2T swimsuit that she first wore to her first swim lesson at 6M!

Ellie lined up all her baby dolls in the hall...

The fancy security robot from the Stanford Mall

Ellie and I eating cupcakes at Sprinkles (I had just found out that she was going to need surgery for sure...man that was a hard cupcake to enjoy)

Ellie at Stanford with Nora Noel :)

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The following pics are from the best Mother's Day! We went to Bill's Cafe in Willow Glen and had a fantastic breakfast - Ellie LOVED her chocolate chip pancakes! Then we went over to Petroglyph so we could paint...Ellie saw that her Calliou (a favored television show cartoon star who just happens to be the same age as Ellie....) had made his mom and cup - so Ellie insisted on making me a cup - and she insisted on a plate too - so we found the perfect set for her to paint and decorate! She was the HAPPIEST girl!

Here she is at home using her completed cup and plate :)

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More random pics:

Sleeping

I got a guitar!! A Taylor GS Mini - I LOVE it!

Ellie fell asleep next to Jeremiah one night when I wasn't home until late

A rather disturbing Target display - not Ellie, but the other kids. I told her that is what happens to kids that don't obey their mommies and daddies....